Norm de Plume

Is this joint now run by a clutch of finger-wagging celibate schoolmarms?
It's a shame. We're all adults here. Hell, most of us are middle-aged or older. I am fully aware there's a rule somewhere about "no sexual content", but for the length of my 22 years here, pictures of scantily-clad but non-nude people (mostly women) have been allowed, and harmlessly proliferate in some threads, as have ribald comments such as "would bang", and so forth. It's not as if anyone is posting porn, hard or soft. That would clearly be beyond the pale, though it was permitted back when the Adult Talk forum existed.
In recent days, two threads, one of them mine, have been closed due to, gasp, sexual overtones. The one today merely contained pictures of a woman deemed by some very sexy. My thread was meant to be an honest, sincere discussion about sexual needs. What made, for me, the closure of my thread so galling was the presence on the very same page of a long-running thread about teachers statutorily raping their students. If any sex talk or risque images have become taboo here, which is, in my view, utterly preposterous and self-destructive for such a flagging forum, then it's only fair that there be consistency, and all such threads be closed.

Sonic

cultshock

It's America, horrific violence is a-ok but please don't talk about sex stuff.

jpcamb

I'm guessing your post would have been fine in the Most attractive person on TV thread or something like that but I don't see a need for a specific thread in the otter forum.

davidh777

A few years back, there was an en masse series of tweaks made to threads that had been titled “Hottest chick in music history” and “I’m in love with a TV commercial girl” with the idea that it’s make the forum more female-friendly. Maybe it’s not absolutely consistent, but I think that’s the reasoning.

Obi-Wanma

Yeah, as the OP of that thread, it bothers me too every time it is bumped. I would not have an issue if it were closed, or if someone needs it to remain open, if my post could somehow be removed as the OP. Now I really never intended my thread to become the repository for all such stories, at the time I posted it, it was commonplace for a new thread to be started about each news story, and I was just posting a local one that I had read about. It just kinda happened that there was a push to not create new threads for such similar topics right after I posted it, and my thread became "THE" thread. Which was fine for a while. I didn't care, I actually used to participate in the "judging" in such threads, but for me, it seems like a lifetime ago, and I was a different person than I am now. I'd prefer not to be reminded of that every time there is another teacher story.

I read your thread though, Norm, and I'm not sure why it was a problem. I'm not a mod though, so what do I know?

andicus

I'm just glad we're not where we were a little bit after IB took over the forums. At one point, it seemed that simply posting a picture of a woman that might be deemed attractive was verboten. It was crazy.

milo bloom

I think we should able to discuss sensitive topics, including those that touch on sexuality, but I also would like to see a lessening of the "old guys in the locker room" tone that's been around a while. The world is changing, we don't need "hot chicks" threads, I think the celebrity gossip threads are a sufficient compromise for that type of discussion.

Norm de Plume

^Fair enough, milo. I sometimes participate in the locker-room banter. It is probably not quite PC anymore, but it's also - from my standpoint - most often meant to evoke laughs, not to offend.
I can see how you would be mortified, Obi-Wanma, and perhaps it's a good idea to ask to have your name removed. On the other hand, teachers having sex with students sure is a strange phenomenon of modern American society. Not that we discuss it in inquiring or philosophical terms ( not even close), but I don't think the thread deserves closing. Any closure of a thread that isn't patently offensive or off-limits risks further reducing the membership here, I think.

IBJoel

OK, there needs to be more context. Myself and some of the mods are not on all the time obviously and I'm rarely in anything but here or Movie Talk. So I have no idea what you're talking about.

Norm de Plume

Unfortunately I can't link from my location, but two seemingly innocuous threads with sexual content, one, mine, more overt than the other, were closed in the last several days. One is still on the front page of Other, and concerns a woman golf player (Paige something) who was ranked "most beautiful" by someone or an organization of some kind. The other one , which I started, might also still be on the first page of Other, and is titled, "How often do you feel the need to, ahem, relieve yourself?". In other words, how often do you get horny and either masturbate or have sex. Are these topics really too lewd for a bunch of older people, mostly men? We don't need to be infantilized.

It is not at all my intention to lambaste the mods who closed these threads, as both are affable chaps who were just following guidelines. It just seems to me that these inoffensive threads would have been acceptable and left open for discussion until, I don't know, some indeterminate time not too long ago in this forum's history.

Eric F

Times change. What we would have deemed acceptable >20yrs ago when a lot of us “old timers” joined the forum definitely is not now, and that’s not a bad thing. For example, I made a comment on one of the OT threads where someone posted a legitimate question about how to tell a friend about a serious hygiene issue and, as usual, the jokes started rolling in. I remarked that it’s not funny and people told me to lighten up. When I replied it’s not funny when you’re living with such issues I was ignored and the jokes continued.


I agree with the over sensitivity on some issues, but that’s pretty rare here. I actually feel this forum is pretty lenient for the most part, probably because of the average age of the members.

Kurt D

I'll go ahead and weigh in from an absolutist standpoint, with a touch of realism thrown in. Per the rules, no posts with sexual content, so from that perspective, there's no issue regarding the threads in question being closed.

From the realistic standpoint, rules are never evenly enforced, but we all know that 'they did it first' is not an adequate defense.

When threads get a number of complaints, the situation is discussed, and action is taken.

lwhy?

Is there a different list of rules other than Internet Brands Terms of Use (https://www.internetbrands.com/ibterms/)? I only see "Content prohibited from our sites and services includes but is not limited to: (3) offensive content (including, without limitation, court ordered defamatory statements, threatening, hateful or pornographic content)" I was just wondering why the Paige Spiranac thread was closed. I didn't see anything pornographic in that thread. There is a most attractive person on tv thread that has similar content.

X

DVD Talk's rules are posted on the bottom of this page where it says "Rules". Here's a link: https://forum.dvdtalk.com/rules.php

Norm de Plume

Did my thread or the "Paige" thread get a number of complaints? I would be, honestly, shocked. It would indicate an excess of pearl-clutching is occurring.

lwhy?

That is coming up as blank for me on Chrome.

lwhy?

I can see the rules here https://forum.dvdtalk.com/misc.php?do=showrules, but https://forum.dvdtalk.com/rules.php is a blank page.

I see the: You agree, through your use of this service, that you will not use the DVD Talk Forum to post any material which is knowingly false and/or defamatory, inaccurate, abusive, vulgar, hateful, harassing, obscene, profane, sexually oriented, threatening, invasive of a person's privacy, or otherwise violative of any law.

Sonic

Norm de Plume

Perhaps the administration can tweak the rules and remove, or at least amend, the "sexually oriented" prohibition. It seems contradictory and inexplicable to me that, on a forum whose members - most of them - are so open-minded to and accepting of all manner of social variances, basic sexuality, which is innate to every single one of us, would be verboten to discuss, decorously or even obscenely (as long as it isn't hateful). I am not a satyr or a slobbering lecher, and this is not a subject I ever thought I would be championing, but the two vectors just so happened to coalesce.
By the by, I am not advocating for the admission of nudity or pornography (though I'm not an enemy of either), but I see absolutely no reason why adults should be forbidden to post non-explicit (i.e. non-nude) photos or sexually oriented text. Ultimately, this is certainly not my forum, and Internet Brands will do what it sees fit.

joeblow69

I didn't report it, and I'm not a prude by any stretch of the imagination, but I would guess that there is a way to do a thread like that and still keep it somewhat tasteful? There was one picture there that focused on her boobs, where you could see veins kinda popping, that to me at least, seemed to push it into more of a leering, sleazy kind of thread.

Like I said though, I don't mind sleezy, it's actually my jam. But it's clear that's not what they are looking for on this forum.

The Cow

Regarding the "Paige" thread, there's been a general spoken/unspoken rule about sketchy/sexy pictures. If they aren't office work appropriate then put them in NSFW spoilers. Pictures from Maxim probably fall under that umbrella.

But yeah, the forum is not very consistent on sexism.

IBJoel

Who the Hell wants to know when and how often other dudes or ladies are jerking off?

Norm de Plume

It wasn't just about wanking, but about intercourse - for those who are so fortunate. I guess a big part of it was curiosity about whether age (almost all of us are over 40) has led to a decrease in sexual interest. It was a new discussion topic, whereas most of the threads on page one are years old. I was just trying to start a new conversation, that's all.

Kurt D

I'd say there is an argument to be made for a catch-all 'Sexual Health' thread in Otter, but would immediately note that pretty much every thread across the entire forum tends to quickly devolve into inappropriate sex jokes and that none of us (myself included) can be trusted to act in a mature manner, so per the rules, it's probably a 'no'.

It would be interesting to see how such threads go in an actual Men's Health Forum.