Tom Banjo

I mess up lyrics on purpose just to exasperate my wife. A couple of favorites:
Deep in a woman (Deep river woman)
Down down doo doo pants, doo doo pants (down down do your dance, do your dance)

Edit to add:
Warm smell of Cletus, rising up through the air (colidas)

creekdipper

Given your username, it only seems fitting.

Inhumans99

Many years back my friend's sister insisted that Weird Al Yankovic was saying crackers instead of "With my scalpel, and my forceps, and re-tractors." Her brother kept insisting that made no sense but she was adamant about it so we both dropped our efforts to convince her otherwise.

To be fair I can kinda sorta see how easy it would be to mis-hear the lyrics.

milo bloom

That reminds me of my issue with misheard lyrics: I rarely hear other words, if I can't understand the lyric, it just sounds like mush to me.

There's a line in Like A Surgeon that's "better hand me all your gauze, nurse" that my brain simply could not parse out for decades so I spent most of my life hearing "better hand me all your gozzners" which I just assumed to be some obscure piece of medical equipment.

Norm de Plume

Shit, look at the gozzners on that nurse!

Josh-da-man

One I remember is Alice Cooper's "Teenage Frankenstein" from Constrictor. Seems like it got played every week on the Headbanger's Ball back in the 80s.

There's one line that sounded like "I'm a high setchuite." No idea what a "setchuite" could be, nor even how to spell it here.

Turns out the line was "Are my eyes set too wide."

milo bloom

That’s horrible and sexist and I sorta feel bad for laughing as hard as I did.

Paff

Many years ago I was doing field service in a restaurant kitchen. One of the cooks was berating his buddy for not having a girlfriend. "Man, if you don't have a girlfriend, you're NOTHING. It's like they say in that song: No woman, no pride"

Daytripper

I have one for me, a younger friend/co-worker and my Mom.

Mine: The Go-Go's. I thought they were saying "Honest I'll See You" instead of "Our Lips Are Sealed". Listen closely next time. I wasn't that too far off

My co-worker: She thought TLC were saying "Don't go Jason Waterfalls" instead of, you know.....

My Mom: Thought the Bee Gees were singing "Bald Headed Woman" instead of "More Than a Woman". Yeah, I don't get that one at all.

Nick Danger

That one's weird, because the Bee Gees articulated so well. It's not like Smells Like Teen Spirit.

JTH182

A couple off the top of my head.

MC Hammer's U Can't Touch This has a few, but my favorite was always:

Go with the flow, it is said
If you can't groove to this then you probably are dead
So wave your hands in the air
Bust a few moves, run your fingers through your hair
squeeze a zit!



And just one I could never quite nail, Two Princes by the Spin Doctors:

I hear: I don't want a pretty lover's heart to be... sad.

Which I think is actually: I know what a prince and lover ought to be. (New line) Said if you...

Josh-da-man

I've heard of people who thought the song was "Alex the Seal."

Josh-da-man

Oh, "Smells Like Teen Spirit" -- I actually got most of the lyrics right except for the chorus...

"A mulatto, an albino, a mosquito, my libido"

Misheard as... "I'm a lot of ??????, I'm a skater, I'm a leader."

JTH182

Or "Islands of Seals"

collven

My wife and I started dating not long after "Hey Man Nice Shot" from Filter was released. She always thought they said "hey man nice shirt". To this day, if she ever says hey man, I finish her sentence with nice shirt. Drives her nuts.

story

That song came out when I was working at McDonald's in high school. In the early afternoon time after the big lunch rush, our manager would tell the back line crew, "I need someone to filter the vats." There was a group of 4-5 of us who would turn to each other, narrow our eyes, and play "air bass" while humming the opening notes: "Dun-ni-nu-nu-nu-nu-nu-nu..." Made him laugh every time and I still think of it whenever I hear the song.

printerati

I didn't know the song title when I was a kid, which would have eliminated any confusion, but I never understood why the Fixx were singing about "seven five zero."

Same here.

EdTheRipper

My grandmother thought that it was Bald Headed Woman as well.

Jaymole

As a kid, I though Jumpin Jack Flash was about farting as I thought Mick was saying "Jumpin Jack Flash, just passed gas"

For Heart of Glass, I misheard "bluish light" as "Jewish Life".

for England Dan & John Ford Coley's I'd Really Love To See You Tonight, I misheard "I'm not talking about moving in" as "I'm not talking bout the linen"

Add me to the list who thought Our Lips Are Sealed, was "Honest, I'll see you'

Josh-da-man

"Plowed" by Sponge.

I initially thought the line "Say a prayer for me" was "Stay up late for me."

Mr. Flix

Me too. I can't not hear it wrong.

Mondo Kane

Stone Temple Pilots-Creep

"Well I'm half the man I used to be 'cause I peed in the doggie's face"

Jaymole

2 others I remembered:

White Room by Cream: Thought they were singing "In a white room, with black cousins"

This hit song by Tee-set called Ma Belle Amie...for years I kept trying to find the song without any luck as I thought they were singing "My Brother and Me":

BobO'Link

A former coworker asked me one day "What's that song about Raydon Blue mean?" I was puzzled so asked for more. He replied "You know, you brought it in the other day. The one that goes: Raydon Blue to the other side." It was The Doors "Break on Through" he was asking about!

E Unit