Rockmjd23

Eh, the EU stuff just shoehorned that all in after the fact. We shouldn't have to watch and read other media to understand something they screwed up in the films.

Jules Winfield

At this point, I'd rather watch TPM than endure another fifteen years of bitching.

PhantomStranger

Eliminate the dumb 'Roger, Roger' robot troopers. There isn't a single person over the age of five that thought they were menacing or threatening. I understand why they were included, Lucas could show Jedis cutting through them like paper with little fear the MPAA would give him anything but a PG rating. They might have been even more stupid than the blatantly racist voice-overs.

Rockmjd23

That's exactly why he did it. Part of the whole "softening" of the saga, and I suspect that is why he made the stormtroopers into clones as well. If they're just clones it's not as big of a deal that so many of them died in the OT. Compare the laughable, sanitary deaths in the prequel trilogy with what happened to Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru in Ep IV. The tone is so far off.

Jason

Well, the OT was a much darker time. People had lived under the boot of the Empire for a generation.

As to the laughably ineffective battle droids, they were being operated by a a commercial guild who were trying to intimidate people living an easy life in a lush paradise. This wasn't the hardscrabble world of the outer rim.

duff beer

Yeah while the outer rim jobs were very dirty and tough to do.

Michael Corvin

There is zero reason Anakin needed to be from Tatooine... none, nada, zilch. It was just dumb and lazy.

Rockmjd23

I wasn't sure if that had been established before the Episode 1 came out so I went with it, but if not then yes that is really stupid. What made even less sense was how they "hid" Luke. They wanted to protect him so they sent him to his father's home planet and gave him the same last name. Brilliant!

dugan

The prequel trilogy is about a knight falling from grace, due to forbidden love.

I would have done it as a King Arthur story in a sci-fi setting, with Anakin as Lancelot and Amidala as Guinevere.

duff beer

What's up with the Jedis also wearing tatooine-like clothes. Thought they should be donned in the black gear Luke wears in ROTJ.

Sean O'Hara

Here's how Anakin's fall to the Dark Side should've gone.

Yoda: Padawan Anakin with Obi Wan you must go, trade dispute on Gomoron to resolve there is.

Anakin: Another fucking trade dispute? I've been here fifteen years already. When are we gonna get together an army of Jedi and go to Tatooine to end slavery and rescue my mother?

Yoda: Rescue mother you cannot.

Anakin: Why not?

Yoda: A Jedi emotion must--

Anakin: No, no, no, don't give me that bullshit. We're the guardians of peace and justice in this galaxy. Tatooine is in this galaxy. Let's go administer some peace and justice there.

Yoda: But trade dispute important is.

Anakin: That's it, fuck this shit. I've had enough of this Jedi nonsense. From now on it's the way of the Sith for me. I'm gonna bring order to this galaxy once and for all.

Josh-da-man

It was established in the original Star Wars that he lived there with his aunt and uncle, so he did have family there. Not a stretch to assume that his family has roots there. True, I would have preferred he come from somewhere else, but it's not a stretch.

Yoda wore similar robes in TESB, and ghost Anakin was also wearing the robes in ROTJ. Which always sort of bothered me even back then because Obi-Wan's robes seemed more like Tatooine desert-wear; Owen and the Tusken Raiders wore similar garb.

I would guess that Jedis wear robes because they look monastic, but it seems like they'd be a pain the ass in a fight.

duff beer

Yeah looks like bullshit. They look like monks than you know space knights.

Rockmjd23

The Jedis were a lot lamer in the PT than I had always envisioned they would be. They seemed too vanilla.

PhantomStranger

I remember what people came up with when discussing the Clone Wars before the Prequels ever came out. Many expected epic battles of cloned Jedis fighting one another. That would have been a much nastier and cooler fight to depict than lame robots. I think Bobba Fett's popularity really distorted the storyline that Lucas came up with for the Prequels.

brayzie

I thought the black outfit Luke wears was supposed to be symbolic of him getting closer to the Dark Side. He cut his training short, wanting to do things the easy way, had lots of anger in him, and he was already becoming part machine like his father.

Even when I first watched it, it made no sense why they couldn't rescue Anakin's mother. If they don't take Naboo money, couldn't the Queen just offer to trade a large space ship for Shmi? That little boy helped save Naboo and nobody can figure out how to free his mom?

mcnabb

Are you talking about Anakin being mentioned in the OT coming from Tatooine? I don't remember any reference that HE was from there.

I think it is dumb that he comes from Tatooine, since Luke is hidden in the same DAMN PLANET! That is just lazy writing. I will even say that Lucas got lazy writing in ROTJ, when he has Luke and Anakin have the same last name!

Luke was essentially put into witness protection from the Emperor and Vader, so there are 2 things you must do:

1. Change your name. Skywalker should not have been Anakin's last name, as Luke Skywalker and Leia Organa should have been their new last names. Lucas could have said that Anakin's last name was Starkiller or something in ROTJ.

2. A remote place that no one will know that you live. The fact that Luke is brought up on the same planet, and the same house that Anakin visited in AOTC is ridiculous because that would be the one place he has been. Plus Uncle Owen owned C3PO for about 10 years from Episode I & II, yet he doesn't remember him when he buys him in Episode IV? Lazy writing again.

Tatooine should have never been used in the PT, as it should have been a new planet in Episode IV to show that Luke was in hiding with a new last name: Skywalker.

Jason

It creates a connection for Luke to be placed with Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru, but there was certainly no reason for one film to feature a 10 year old "Annie". In fact, although he was from Tatooine, there was no reason to actually go there (twice!). Two minutes of expository dialogue in the elevator going to Padme's apartment would have made all of Episode 1 unnecessary.

Supermallet

Here's what I would have done for the PT:

Episode I: The whole film takes place on Coruscant. Anakin Starkiller (not Skywalker), 17, lives as a hood in the lower levels of the city. He works as a getaway driver for a local crime lord, driving those flying cars we saw in AOTC. He's present for an exchange of a rare artifact: A stolen Jedi holocron. Before the sale can be made, Jedi bust in, and all hell breaks loose. Anakin manages to escape with the holocron. He discovers that it reacts to his touch, and he begins interacting with it. Later, assassins sneak into his home, planning on killing him and stealing the holocron. He manages to use some rudimentary Force abilities, more instinctual than planned, to fend them off briefly, but they're about to close in when...a Jedi jumps in, takes out the assassins, and removes his hood to reveal Obi-Wan Kenobi. Kenobi tells Anakin that he needs to return the holocron, and Anakin says he will, but only if Obi-Wan agrees to train him as a Jedi. Obi-Wan is hesitant, because Anakin is much older than the regular recruits, but he can feel the Force in him, and needs the Holocron back, so he agrees to take Anakin before the Jedi Council after the holocron has been retrieved.

Anakin reveals that he doesn't even have the holocron on him, but sent it to the care of his brother, Owen, who is a ward of the state, living in an orphanage. Anakin isn't so smart though, because the crime lord knows Anakin has a brother, and when Anakin and Obi-Wan show up to get the holocron, they discover that Owen has been kidnapped, and there's a ransom message saying the crime lord will exchange the boy for the device (he doesn't know that Owen has the holocron on him, nor did he bother to search him because what value could an orphan child have?).

Obi-Wan and Anakin go to the Jedi Council to tell them what has happened. The Council is disappointed in Obi-Wan for letting the holocron slip through his fingers, but he convinces them that he can set it right, and they assign a few more Jedi to make a strike team to get Owen and the holocron back. Obi-Wan also introduces Anakin and his desire for training. Yoda has a closed door meeting with Anakin, and is very unsure about training him, but finally decides that he will use this situation as a test, and tells Anakin that he will shadow the strike team and if he can follow orders and help the Jedi, he will be accepted for training.

The strike team go in and find the crime lord unusually prepared to deal with a group of Jedi. They manage to get to Owen, only to find the crime lord's second in command, a big bruiser, standing in their way. This guy is tough and appears to have some knowledge of the Force, because he doesn't just rebuff the strike team, he kills them all except for Obi-Wan and Anakin. He demands the device and Obi-Wan bluffs, showing him an inoperative holocron and faking it for the real thing. The bruiser takes it, but instead of giving Owen back, is about to kill him, Anakin snatches up a lightsaber from a fallen Jedi and uses it to sever the bruiser's arm. Obi-Wan then incapacitates him. Obi-Wan is partly concerned by Anakin's anger, but can't stop to discuss it. They get to Owen to discover that the holocron isn't on him anymore. They chase after the crime lord and find him in the process of handing over the holocron to a shadowed, hooded figure. Obi-Wan and Anakin manage to intervene and stop the sale of the holocron, but lose the hooded figure in the process. The film ends with Anakin being accepted for training and the holocron being plugged back into the Jedi Temple database.

Episode II: Five years have passed since the events of Episode I. The opening crawl tells us that several systems in the Outer Rim have broken into open rebellion against the Republic, and Republic forces are spread thin combating it. The Jedi Order, which used to be more monastic, has agreed to aid the Republic. However, this has had a downside as many Jedi are unexpectedly defecting in droves, some to the rebellion, but others to become mercenaries.

The film opens with Anakin having a dream where the hooded figure from the end of Episode I tells him that he can have more power than he ever thought possible. He awakes in a cold sweat, and we discover this is the day he is going to complete his training. After being awarded the rank of Jedi Knight, Obi-Wan is also rewarded the title of Jedi Master, and the two are sent off to a strategically important Outer Rim system to aid a group of Jedi who have broken off contact. The Council doesn't know if the rebellion has killed these Jedi or recruited them. At the ceremony, Yoda reminds Anakin to be mindful of his feelings, and that he has to control them, not let them control him.

The two go to the Outer Rim and find a group of locals being attacked by rebels. They defend the locals, who are being led by a woman named Padme. Anakin is immediately taken with her, which Obi-Wan notices, and he repeats Yoda's warning. Padme is initially distrustful of the pair, and reveals that the previous Jedi had defected. Obi-Wan assures her that he's there to set things right, and she agrees to show them the rebel base of operations. However, she also demands to go with them as they infiltrate the base, because she'll be damned if she lets some offworlders save the planet while the natives just sit back and let everything unfold.

They get to the base and see something strange. It turns out that the base is actually a crude cloning station, taking DNA from the turncoat Jedi and using it to make rushed clones. The clones are twisted and disfigured, and their connection to the Force is warped and crude. They don't have the mastery of the Force that a trained Jedi does, but they are much more deadly than a normal foe. The trio encounter the now Dark Jedi and engage them in battle, with Anakin and Obi-Wan proving to be an efficient fighting duo. However, Anakin loses it when Padme is injured, and not only kills several of the Dark Jedi, but also inadvertently destroying the coolant system for the main core of the plant, causing it to explode. The trio make it out just in time, but Padme is badly injured.

Obi-Wan tries to contact the Jedi Council, but finds that communications are blocked. He tells Anakin that they're leaving for Coruscant immediately, but Anakin won't leave until he sees that Padme will live. Obi-Wan warns him a third time that he's on a dark path, saying that Padme wouldn't be critically injured if Anakin hadn't lost his temper at the rebel base. Anakin gets angry with Obi-Wan, saying maybe the Jedi have been defecting for a reason, because the Jedi Order has lost touch with the universe and the Force. Obi-Wan is gravely disturbed, but realizes that he has to get his intel back to the Jedi Council immediately. Anakin still refuses to leave, so Obi-Wan tells Anakin to wait and do nothing until Obi-Wan returns.

Obi-Wan makes it back to Coruscant and reports to the Council, just in time to witness a surprise attack on the capital by a fleet of cloned Dark Jedi, led by the mysterious hooded figure, who is now revealed to be a Dark Lord of the Sith, Palpatine. The Jedi go to raise the alarm, only to find that their systems have all been shut down by a virus introduced into their system through the holocron retrieved from Episode I. Palpatine had never intended to steal the holocron for himself, but rather to reprogram it. Without defenses, the Jedi Temple is quickly overrun. Yoda and a few other Jedi manage to make it off the planet. Obi-Wan, however, is taken prisoner by Palpatine.

Meanwhile, Anakin helps Padme to recuperate, totally unaware of what is going on elsewhere. Padme is still critical of the Jedi Order, and Anakin continues to have dreams where Palpatine seduces him to the Dark Side. However, his loyalty to Obi-Wan prevents him from fully turning away from the Jedi. Yoda shows up, having been told by Obi-Wan where Anakin was, and fills Anakin in on the attack on Coruscant. Anakin immediately suggests a rescue mission for Obi-Wan. Yoda argues strongly against this, but cannot deny that he still feels Obi-Wan is alive through the Force.

Palpatine makes a galaxy-wide announcement, declaring that the Republic has been crippled. Yoda and Anakin manage to coordinate the remaining Republic fleet, most of which was already in the Outer Rim, to mount a counter-offensive. Anakin also plans, without telling Yoda, to use this as a cover to rescue Obi-Wan. The attack begins, and Anakin quickly breaks formation and heads to the planet, against Yoda's wishes. Anakin manages to save Obi-Wan and several other imprisoned Jedi, and with them on the ground, plus the ships around the planet, manage to rebuff but not destroy Palpatine's fleet. Episode II ends with them looking out over a decimated Coruscant, and we see Padme, who had joined for the assault, take Anakin's hand.

Episode III: The Clone Wars are in full swing. The Jedi who remain loyal to the Republic act as generals, while the Dark Jedi who defected act more like assassins. Anakin and Obi-Wan are among the top ranking generals of the Republic, with Padme also taking a strong tactical role. She and Anakin are not-so-secret lovers, a situation that is simply too unimportant for the Jedi to correct in the face of such a war. Owen has joined the Republic and is now the head of Anakin's personal guard/strike force.

Bothan spies uncover plans for Palpatine's latest weapon: Massive capital ships known as "Star Destroyers" that are significantly more powerful than the Republic's strongest ships. Obi-Wan and Anakin are dispatched to sabotage the shipyards where the first Star Destroyers are being built. The attack is succeeding, but in the midst of it, Owen gets a report that Padme, on a separate mission, has been shot down and is presumed dead. Anakin still feels her through the Force, and goes off without telling anyone except Owen to save her. Owen then commands Anakin's portion of the fleet, but he's not as brilliant as his older brother and is badly wounded. Obi-Wan, thinking Owen is Anakin, rushes to his side, only to discover that Anakin has gone off on his own. As a result of all of this, a few unfinished Star Destroyers manage to escape.

Anakin finds Padme being held hostage on a volcanic planet. The Dark Jedi holding her is Palpatine's second in command. He urges Anakin to defect, saying that Palpatine can offer more power than Anakin ever imagined. Anakin, remembering his dreams, is shaken by this, and the Dark Jedi presses his advantage and uses his powers to incapacitate Anakin. He plans to kill Anakin but after a communication with Palpatine, is told to sway him to the Dark Side instead. His attempts fall on deaf ears, and finally he threatens to kill Padme. Anakin's anger surges up and he manages to escape his shackles and brutally murders the Dark Jedi by using the Force as a bludgeon and smashes him to pulp. Obi-Wan makes it just in time to see this, and confronts Anakin. They argue and, still seeing red, Anakin draws a lightsaber on Obi-Wan. The two fight, and Anakin almost wins. As he's about to bring his lightsaber down on Obi-Wan, Padme intervenes, and Anakin hesitates. Obi-Wan uses the brief window and manages to recover. Anakin, now wild with rage, goes after Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan uses Anakin's anger against him and cuts off several limbs, leaving him for dead. As Obi-Wan and Padme leave the planet, she reveals to Obi-Wan that she is pregnant with Anakin's child.

We jump forward in time. The Clone Wars are still going on, but the Republic appears to be turning the tide. Padme is very pregnant and has taken a back seat. Obi-Wan feels the time is right to flush the rest of the rebels out of hiding and end the war, as they've now been cornered to a few clustered systems. However, Yoda is concerned of reports of a new Dark Lord of the Sith, Darth Vader, who has been ruthlessly efficient in decimating any Republic forces he encounters. Obi-Wan feels that the remaining Republic forces need to make a strike of overwhelming force to stop this Vader from turning the tide back in favor of the Separatists. Yoda reluctantly agrees, and Obi-Wan heads out with the fleet.

The attack begins, and it seems to be going well, but the fleet becomes flanked by Star Destroyers--now fully completed--that had been hiding behind the moons of the planet in question. Vader's tactics are brilliant and blindside the Republic fleet, leaving it in tatters. Obi-Wan watches helplessly as the Separatist fleet heads to Coruscant. He finally manages to jerry rig a working hyperdrive and follows suit.

Back on Coruscant, the Star Destroyers appear and make quick work of the planetary defenses. Palpatine descends to the planet and beheads the President of the Republic, declaring himself Emperor of the Galaxy in front of the Galactic Senate. Yoda goes off to stop him. Padme coordinates the remaining ground forces, despite being pregnant, with the aid of Owen, who is still healing. Obi-Wan makes it back to Coruscant and slips back to the ground in the confusion. He links up with Padme and Owen, and aids them, but is hit hard by a sick feeling and he realizes that Vader is close by. After having seen the devastation of his own fleet, Obi-Wan tells the survivors the battle is lost and orders them to Padme's ship. He charges Owen with Padme's protection.

They run off just in time for Vader to make his entrance. Vader can sense Padme, but not that she is pregnant. He sees Obi-Wan and the two clash. Vader drives him back with incredible force, and Obi-Wan is nearly knocked out. Vader, in his moment of triumph, reveals his true identity. Obi-Wan slips off the ledge they're on before Vader can deliver the killing blow, landing on Padme's ship, and they take off. Yoda is unsuccessful at defeating Palpatine and escapes with the help of Senator Organa, who fled the Senate just before Palpatine took it over.

The group escapes to Alderaan, Organa's home planet, and Padme gives birth to twins. They agree to separate them, with Obi-Wan taking the boy to the Outer Rim with his uncle Owen, while Padme would remain on Alderaan with her daughter. Organa asks Yoda to stay, but Yoda says his presence would draw Imperial forces, and he takes a ship of his own to find a distant, uninhabited planet where no one would be threatened if the Emperor decided to seek him out. Owen tells Obi-Wan that he has contacts on Tatooine as a result of his time in the Republic fleet, and that he helped liberate a community from rebel forces, so he and Obi-Wan head there.

The third film ends with Owen and Obi-Wan arriving at Tatooine. Obi-Wan offers to help care for the boy, Luke, but Owen declares that this boy will have nothing to do with the Jedi, and that if Obi-Wan wants to help the best thing he can do is stay away. Owen walks off into town, while Obi-Wan stares after him in the waning light of Tatooine's two setting suns.

tl:dr: I just came up with a better PT in one morning than Lucas could in three decades.

EddieMoney

A good story this is. Send it to Lucas you should.

Supermallet

Oh and of course there would be tons of battle scenes littered throughout. One of the advantages of having Jedi defect in the second film means tons of lightsaber fights.

PhantomStranger

That's a much darker trilogy, I don't think Lucas would have ever allowed it by the time of the Prequels. It is a better story than what we got. Lucas simply didn't have enough people around him to say his concepts for the Prequels were terrible. I imagine he was shocked when he read the reaction on the Internet.

HN

no one was violated by 3PO being created by annie?

Rockmjd23

He probably was. Of course, we now know he doesn't care about the Internet's reaction to anything.

Supermallet

Yes, it's absolutely darker, but the PT is the story of a man being corrupted by evil and the fall of democracy. It HAS to be dark. But it has the leeway to be dark because the audience already knows that eventually the Empire is defeated and that Vader is redeemed. So why shy away from the darkness? It only serves to better contrast with the light of the OT. Let's see exactly why the dark side is so terrible. Let's see why it's worth it to fight for a new Republic.